Monday, August 10, 2015

Van down by the river is back in business

The chooch renting out vans down by the East River in LIC as hotel rooms is back at it again. Here are some recent reviews:
"To start with, it all happened to turn out a little different than expected. Due to an article someone had written about Jonathan’s vans there was a boom of media hype so he had to relocate all vans, including the one we had booked.

Jonathan brought us some charged batteries for an electric fan to use in the car, because in the summer it really does get hot in the van. In our first night we made the mistake to open the windows for some fresh air. Although there are nets against mosquitoes there must be a loop so we ended up having to wrestle with 15 to 20 mosquitoes inside the van in the middle of the night. However, the second night much wiser we spend with closed windows and had a quite comfortable night, although the bed is a little small for two people, but it works out."

"I never felt unsafe walking to and from the van, or in the van itself. However, there were a couple of expectable "car" problems. It got hot in the day, and so staying in was not an option. It stayed noisy until the wee hours, and asking the cars to drive softly was not an option. It got stuffy at night, and opening a window was not an option. You see what I'm saying? In addition, you need to consider that you have no shower/toilet/power. You need to do your business elsewhere!"

"Not being able to shower was definitely a negative seeing as New York City isn't very clean so you get dirty easily. It wasn't quite on the water, it was actually parked up the street on the side of the road but was within a quick walk of the waterfront. The space was cramped but enough to put our luggage and have some leg room. The bed is comfortable and cozy. If you don't mind feeling dirty for a few days and need to save money, than this is for you."
It's pretty obvious that this dude got in trouble the first time but has no intention of stopping anytime soon. James Van Bramer probably thinks this is fabulous since he hasn't released a statement about it or called for an investigation and come to think of it, none of the news outlets that packaged this as an "exclusive" after cribbing it from this blog bothered to ask any elected what they plan to do about it even though they had the resources and opportunity to do so.


JQ said...

Tourists are getting dumber by the second, even a swarm of mosquitos (Um west nile, Johnathan, you prick) and the lack of a toilet will not stop these dopes from visiting our lonely planet. It confirms that there is literally no room in the city anymore, even for vacations. The crapper is indeed to full. Repulsive.

Johnathan is a swindler and a thief and must be stopped, and this bag of dead dicks is actually boasting with that once derisive title on his listing (He surely reads this site and the shitty). But as mentioned above, the people of that district in Queens elected a tour guide instead of someone to represent them in city council. And this is going to get worse. Expect more of these mobile motel rooms by Coney and Rockaway soon, since those beaches are "hip" and "hot" now.

And why should the media delve further and investigate, they are part and parcel lapdogs and sycophantic promoters of the NYC tourism industry as well as for real estate and development. It's the hyper-gentrification tourism industrial complex.

Anonymous said...

No "facilities"? Where do they go?

Anonymous said...

If you can't afford a hotel room here, they should stay out of this city! What will end up happening is what has been going on in this city for a while....which is they will want to actually "move here" and they willing think they can find a job that'll pay them enough to live here, but they willing probably end up homeless on the streets's nothing new.

Anonymously Grey Gardens said...

Alas, I've said it many times before, JQ: Welcome to the Fourth World---Queens County's gateway to new depths in adversity, beggary, obscurity, quiet desperation---and, now helplessness, hopelessness, societal collapse and living standards that now border on all anarchy itself---that even former and present Third World nations themselves no longer tolerate!

And, if you're expecting a deadbeat, self serving sleepwalker like Van Winkle, I mean Van Bramer to finally awaken from suspended animation, then I hope that you plan to live a three-digit life span---he is supposed to chair a committee for Queens art, and the swift eviction of a 16-ton statue in Kew Gardens nearly three years ago entitled 'Triumph Of Civic Virtue' wasn't enough for him to disrupt his cozy coma---or much less, enforce the powers of his committee position (for whom he gets extra money to purportedly oversee), and challenge his monarch ruler, Borough President Melinda Katz into open discussion and public forum and referendum, for any pretense of public democracy to ever finally prevail!

And, if a 16-ton statue continues to receive his deafening silence and complicity (not to mention his intensely useless and incompetent, 'Friends & Family' lapdogs and still life art (yes, at least something can now pass for art, given his bonus stipend as Queens chair of the arts committee), then a Queens traveling van/motel on wheels won't even register Van Bramer's intermittent pulse!

Oh, JQ---I love a good joke, but Van Bramer is nothing but unfunny sadness, and epic, brazen, Neo-Fascist fail---like Melinda Katz herself, and her Forest Park Bandshell debut, and traveling chanteuse, Borough Hall Blues sideshow!

Honestly, reality in Queens politics is far stranger than any pretense of fiction and fantasy---where the sordid material (and players), are directly in my vision range, at every point of the compass!

Anonymous said...

JVB will call for an "Investigation" when (and if) it becomes a big enough issue to warrant a press conference and a 30 second bit with Mocker on WPIX...

Anonymous said...

“It’s sick out there and getting sicker” Bob Grant

Anonymous said...

Maybe that van is really a whore house on wheels.

Anonymously Grey Gardens said...

"A whore house on wheels," says Anonymous. Very clever, indeed---and just like the more stationary (and even more treacherous, corrupt, unpredictable and unstable) City Hall, Albany, the Senate and Legislature themselves!

My very wise, 110-year-old grandfather has always maintained, that "When you've got a big, exclusive, 'by invitation only' whorehouse on top of the hill---you'll find many smaller, walk-in brothels throughout the village!

Alas, that van may have a lot more in common with our entrenched, Police State-style government than meets the eye!

Anonymous said...

What happens when the occupants get attacked, robbed or worse because of the van being advertised? Of course you can't open the dam window. This is not safe at all. And I suppose they are urinating and defecating right outside the van. Public Safety Hazard, Public Health Hazard and the van owner - reckless endangerment.