Monday, July 21, 2008

Queens Crap remakes a modern musical

Following on the success of "How Green Was My Council", Queens Crap proudly presents our latest: a modern day musical, inspired by the 2006 hit movie Dreamgirls.

Some lyrics from "This Land is Our Land"

This land was your land, but now it’s our land
That’s Willets Point, on ol’ Long Island
From Flushing Creek to Flushing Meadows
This land was made for us to take

As we were walking a ribbon of highway
We saw above us planes in the skyway
We saw below us an Iron Triangle
This land was made for us to take


For many decades, we’ve wanted Willets
So we treated the place like a pile of shi-it
But now we’re ready for shiny condos
This land was made for us to take


What we need now is a convention center
We think it will look just so much better
And it means lots more developer money
This land was made for us to take


Big Evan went there while they were working
But when he got there, they started squawking
Looks like we’re headed to court to show them
This land was made for us to take

Coming soon to the Trylon, Elmwood and RKO Keith's Theaters.


Anonymous said...

A masterpiece which defines the gruesome actions of the Bloomberg Administration to a tee!

Anonymous said...

I just peed in my pants.

Mr. Met on the trombone.. priceless.

Anonymous said...

This isn't just fiction, its based very closely on a true story.

An egomaniac and his squaking bitches conspire to ruin the American dream, backed by a bunch of asswipe lobbyists.

Anonymous said...

I think we need a photoshop of Comrade Michael Stalin Bloomberg burning the American Flag.

Anonymous said...

How about a sequel, based on the life of Michael Bloomberg called 'I'm a Yankee Doodle Dipshit'

georgetheatheist said...

This is better than the New Yorker.

Bravo, Crapper!

Anonymous said...

What's next? Sgt. Bloomberg's Lonely Tweeders Band?

Queens Crapper said...

Excellent idea! I can put all the do-nothings from the administration behind him. Lots of heads to Photoshop for that album cover.

Anonymous said...

you guys are the best ! you hit it right on the nail

Anonymous said...

OK Crappy, here's the musical linup:

Side one
1. "Sgt. Bloomberg’s Lonely Tweeders Band" – 2:04
2. "With a Little Graft from My Friends" – 2:46
3. "Pinky in the Sky with Grandma" – 3:30
4. "Getting Better (Trust Me)" – 2:49
5. "Fixing a Hole That My Car Fell In" – 2:38
6. "She's Losing Home" – 3:37
7. "Being for the Benefit of Mayor Mike!" – 2:37
Side two
1. "Elected Without You" (Ivan Lafayette) – 5:07
2. "When I'm Stiffing-Poor" – 2:37
3. "Lovely Rita (Tweeder Made)" – 2:44
4. "Good Grafting Good Grafting" – 2:43
5. "Sgt. Bloomberg's Lonely Tweeders Band (reprise)" – 1:20
6. "A Day in the Fiefdom" – 5:33

My apologies to John, Paul, George, and Ringo

Anonymous said...

"Coming soon to the Trylon, Elmwood and RKO Keith's Theaters."

Both RKO Keith's Flushing & RKO Keith's Richmond Hill, I hope!

Anonymous said...

Why is there no investigation of this:

Monserrate draws donations from Willets Point opponents
Hiram Monserrate
By Adam Pincus

Businesses opposed to the massive redevelopment of Willets Point in Queens gave at least $37,500 in contributions over the past six months to the city council's most vocal critic of the project, according to the latest campaign finance records.

Queens Council Member Hiram Monserrate, a candidate for the state senate seat representing Corona, Jackson Heights, Elmhurst and East Elmhurst, received another $19,250 from other real estate interests among his total of $240,114 in contributions since January.

Monserrate, a Democrat, is running in the November election unopposed for the seat now held by Democrat John Sabini, who announced his retirement in June.

Members of the Willets Point Industry and Realty Association, which has been fighting the plan to redevelop the area with the use of eminent domain, contributed the bulk of the $37,500.

Member firms that donated included Tully Construction Company, which gave $21,000 through several different entities; Feinstein Iron Works and its president, which gave $5,000 combined; and the trash hauling company Crown Container, which gave $3,000.

Other major donors to Monserrate's war chest include unions and private contributors.

Monserrate said he was defending small businesses against the Bloomberg administration's $3 billion redevelopment plan.

Yeah right. He lining his pockets with some of that hot foreign immagrant money.

Anonymous said...

Why is there no investigation of this why? because people who work for the city like you and evan boy put this out there. they are trying to save their land not yours what you should investigate is $$ to claire shulman& helen marshall and people for this plan by the unions and developers and the parkside group,from the people trying to take not the ones trying to save. what an idiot

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

the city pays off more people then the mob does and they been doing it for a 100 years now so every one trying to get the willets point thing done is getting paid off in some way and in a big way

Anonymous said...


Truman Harris said...

Isn't it sad that the businesses of Willets Point have to donate to their elected officials in order to get them to represent their interests like they were elected to do in the first place?

A real shame.

Anonymous said...

"the city pays off more people then the mob does and they been doing it for a 100 years now so every one trying to get the willets point thing done is getting paid off in some way and in a big way"

The city is a mob. A legal mob that is now legalizing theft, but only when they steal. You and I still can't.

Anonymous said...

From a friend who owns a business at Willets Point:
He told me that when this projected was introduced they were contacted by the so-called mega developers personally to ascertain the value of their properties (and businesses)..Then came the KELO decision in 2005 by the 'lefties' on The Supreme Court that allow any municipality (Whatever the reason) to 'take' peoples land based on tax revenue alone. Suddenly, with that decision, NYC is SO EMPOWERED by the virtual indiscriminate use of eminent domain, they are railroading these people. But using all the niceties that you expect from politicians with agendas. And the lackeys like Claire Shulman and Helen Marshall jump on the 'not so subtle' gravy train. What hedonistic immorality!