Friday, December 15, 2006

Developer Greed 101

69-20 Caldwell Avenue, Maspeth:
Chapter 1: How to piss off your neighbors
1) Buy an oversized property for all cash.
2) Illegally cut down the street tree that the city owns so that it doesn't get in your way.
3) Cut down the decades-old pine tree on the property.
4) Erect a flimsy construction fence that blows down in the slightest breeze.
5) Destroy the public sidewalk in front of the property.
6) Demolish the 100-year-old house and accompanying barn.
7) Make sure the workers you hire drink beer and pee in the street.
8) Leave the lot empty for months and allow the construction fence to blow down.
9) Apply to subdivide the lot.

Chapter 2: How to piss off an entire neighborhood
1) Self-certify plans to build two 2-family houses with garages.
2) Erect something really ugly without the garages.
3) Get caught, revise plans slightly, and continue building.
4) Build right up against a neighboring property, blocking their side windows.
5) Make sure that basements are at ground level so that they can easily be converted into illegal apartments by whomever purchases the houses.
6) Begin jackhammering at 7am when most of the neighbors are still asleep.
7) Leave piles of bricks and wood in the street all day and overnight, taking up several curbside spaces, so that residents have nowhere to park.
8) Open the street to install plumbing and make sure to put metal plates over the holes overnight so that the entire block is kept awake by the sound of cars passing over them.
9) Repeat steps 6 and 7 for several weeks and drive neighbors crazy. Make sure major roads are closed during the height of rush hour so that you can finish your project. To hell with people in the neighborhood who need to get to work on time.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a typical piece of shit this is. I live on Jay Avenue in Maspeth and they did this same crap on the corner of 65th Place and Jay Avenue.. A beautiful old house and fountain on an oversized property and they just attached an ugly house with absolutely no style or design and now lots of lovely trash live there and lots of cars park there too. My father was a master carpenter for 50 years, he's probably rolling in his grave at this crap.