Below is another piece, inspired in part by a hilarious comment Verdi made on the “H2O hike has pols steamed” post.
"Water Rate Hike, McMansions Exempt"
Looking at this 1934 photo one wonders what John Conyngham of Lehman Township, Pennsylvania, could’ve possibly been thinking when he had the walls his bathroom adorned with monkeys?
If he’d been living here, in New York, the freaky fresco would’ve been fitting as the city has just proposed to jack up water rates by 18 percent, come January, with the seeming intent of making monkeys out of us. The rate hike would follow a previous one amounting to a 39 percent overall increase in less than two years.
If the proposal passes everyone will feel pinched, except for McMansion homeowners who don’t use much tap water, preferring to sip chilled Perrier out of crystal crockery. They don’t need to be bothered with watering lawns or trees, either, as their colossal fortresses extend right up to their neighbor’s property lines.
Constructed entirely out of brownish bricks, McMansions resemble corrugated cardboard boxes, having flat roofs and few if any windows on the sides. That their owners could think that they actually looked nice and added prestige to a community clearly shows that they have no taste. To put it less mildly, they think that their shit doesn’t stink.
But with this whopping water hike in the works this character flaw of theirs is actually an asset, enabling them to put off flushing their toilets after taking leaks or dumping loads – except when their pedigreed pooches are looking to take swigs from the bowl.
- Ken Klinger
Queens Crap ensign