Thursday, June 18, 2009

Store employees suckered by topless shoplifter

From Trans World News:

SportsDepot, a sporting goods store located in Howard Beach, NY became the victims of a curvaceous crook who used full frontal nudity to distract store employees from her shoplifting accomplice.

SportDepot does most of its football, baseball and sporting goods business online, but still maintains healthy customer traffic in its flagship NY store. On June 15, the thieves, both female, entered the store, and at first aroused no suspicion. A different type of arousal was soon to follow. One of the women, an attractive, shapely young blond, picked out a number of tops and asked if she could try them on. When told that there was no changing room, the woman said that she needed to be certain that they fit properly before making a purchase and that the lack of a dressing room was not a problem. She proceeded to remove her top in full view of store employees and patrons alike. Her lack of undergarments made this already incredible act all the more shocking.

It wasn’t until about fifteen minutes after the women left that [the employees] realized the naked truth. While they were busy paying their undivided attention to the bare chested beauty, her partner in crime was busy stealing several hundred dollars worth of sporting goods and sportswear. “She took lots of clothing, mostly shirts, shorts, pants and jackets. But she also made off with some baseball gloves and football accessories,” the employee added. When asked how they felt after they realized what had happened the employee replied, “How do you think we feel? We feel like boobs.”

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

When asked how they felt after they realized what had happened the employee replied, “How do you think we feel? We feel like boobs.”

At least they have their mammaries er memories.

Kevin Walsh said...

I smell a TV plot or maybe even a movie

www.forgotten-ny.com

Anonymous said...

B00bs for sporting goods?

Sounds like a fair trade.

italian girl said...

Brilliant scheme!!!

A Guy said...

I am waiting breastlessly to see their next move!

Anonymous said...

For once IG, you and I agree 100%. What I want to know is, 1) Was she hot? and 2) didn't the alarms go off?

Anonymous said...

Officer: Can you describe the perp?

Employee: I wasn't looking at her face!

Anonymous said...

This is the reason that women will one day rule the world. We know a man's weakness.

Anonymous said...

i assume captain is silent on this one

italian girl said...

Anonymous said...
"For once IG, you and I agree 100%. What I want to know is, 1) Was she hot? and 2) didn't the alarms go off?"

1) Most likely, otherwise they wouldn't have been staring and not noticing the shoplifter.
2) Yes! Probably in their pants. lol

The one thing most women know is that men typically lose their mind when seeing some female flesh. This is the reason you see women wearing really low-cut shirts showing some cleavage. I've especially noticed when guys get a peak of a midriff, that really gets them going.

I think you guys just might be more "animal" than even you believe.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said...

Shtopp! Shtopp! I'm shplitting mein Lederhosen. "Zey felt like boops!"

Ach Krepper. Zat vas anudder gut von!

Ridgewoodian said...

Best criminals EVER.

Miss Ogynist said...

I've especially noticed when guys get a peak of a midriff, that really gets them going.


Of course Italian Girl has only observed this phenomena on other women, and never experienced it personally.

Wade Nichols said...

Ridgewoodian said...
Best criminals EVER.


Since we're on the topic of boobs....

If I remember correctly, some years ago a woman went to court in New York State, challenging the laws prohibiting women from going topless in public. She won the case, and the ruling was based on the premise of equal treatment under the law, i.e. if men can walk about shirtless, women should be able to also.

I certainly have no problem with that legal ruling, I believe in women’s rights!

Unfortunately, why is it that the only time you ever see a woman walking about topless anywhere in New York, it’s always the weekend of the Gay Parade in New York? And the “women” doing it are not exactly the types that grace the pages of Vogue or the Victoria’s Secret catalogue?

What’s up with that?

italian girl said...

NO! Never me. When you're 400 lbs, no one wants to see any midriff.

Anonymous said...

How come female cops don't have a calendar of hotties?

Anonymous said...

Think the pair will get busted?

italian girl said...

"What’s up with that?"

The women, usually, that are willing to go topless in public are the kinds that don't get any sort of attention from guys in the first place.

Anonymous said...

"We feel like boobs.”

I doubt if those guys even know what boobs feel like!

Anonymous said...

hope these chicks at least were hot

linda said...

lmao, now that proves men think with their small heads.... can't believe the men of howard beach didn't relize they're getting scammed, a0's......

stop thinking with the penis and use the brain god gave ya :)

Ridgewoodian said...

Wade Nichols: If I remember correctly, some years ago a woman went to court in New York State, challenging the laws prohibiting women from going topless in public. She won the case, and the ruling was based on the premise of equal treatment under the law...

Yes, I think that ruling came down in 1989. I remember because it was right before I came to the city for school. My best friend was very excited for me, "Duuuuude! Chick's just be walkin' around topless!" Didn't work out that way.

Wade Nichols: Unfortunately, why is it that the only time you ever see a woman walking about topless anywhere in New York, it’s always the weekend of the Gay Parade in New York?

How did you miss the World Naked Bike Ride last Saturday? I went and checked it out. Granted, it was mostly men but there were a few topless women, and a few in skimpy getups, some of them quite attractive - although didn't your mother teach you that we're all beautiful in our own ways? It was the maiden run of the New York edition of said naked bike ride; I presume it'll have your full support next year.

Jock said...

I presume it'll have your full support next year.

It sure will!!!!

Anonymous said...

Actually, I saw a topless woman walking past Queensbridge houses on early February morning. I crossed the street.

When I told a more worldly coworker about my terrifying experience with a crazy lady, she explained that young girls went to the clubs in Queensboro projects, got hot dancing, took off their tops and walked home like that (she probably censored mention of Exctay for my prudish middle-aged ears).

So now all you horn-dogs know where to hang out.

Anonymous said...

this. is. awesome.

Anonymous said...

I DON"T BELIEVE THIS!