Monday, April 16, 2007

The testing of the green

In case you haven't noticed, New York is becoming more and more artificial every day. Let's take Commissioner Benepe's plan to put fake grass in parks to replace real grass, for example:

KISS YOUR GRASS G'BYE

This is despite the worry that the rubberized pellets used in the turf may be toxic. Not all people think Benepe's plan is a good idea, though, including Public Advocate Betsy Gotbaum:

Gotbaum to Parks Dept.: test city’s synthetic grass

Photo from Queens Tribune

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey...don't knock artificial turf. Better wear...with less care needed by the Parks Department!

That gives Benepe and his "parkies" more time to jerk around!

How about some artificial trees with plastic leaves next! Then the dogs running loose who occasionally "relieve" themselves won't do any damage to these "improved" arborial giants!

Plastic slip covers on the benches would complete the look! (So would dumping Cooper & Benepe)!

Park Lover said...

Bloomberg and Benepe now have three ways to harm youngsters in the parks: First: The kids can play sports and slide in the artificial turf so they can be getting some polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons into their bodies; and, Second: the yougsters can be attacked by the unleashed dogs; Finally, Third: the youngsters can roll around in the thousands of piles of dog poop from the thousands of dogs unleashed into the parks.

This pee and dog poop won't seep into the dround through the turf, so it will collect until the parks are declared too dangerous.

Then, Bloomberg can deliver the parkland to his favorite developers.

Then he will dump Benepe, blaming him for the fiasco.

Anonymous said...

Artificial trees or no trees at all might be next at this rate. Benepe is a sleaze! Anything to save the Parks Dept time and money. What they're really not telling you is how the $ will be used. The synthetic stuff breeds bacteria, is a pollutant, and is no replacement for nature that is self-cleansing many times over. has Benepe heard "We The people?" Let's demand Benepe's resignation or suspension once & for all, before our boroughs are manipulated further!

Adrian & Liam at Play said...

"Al, circle the wagons. They're after us again. Hide and shread everything associated with synthetic fields."

"Liam, get Henry on the phone, ask him what I should do, wait before you do that I have to go wee wee."

"I'm back, Liam did you call Henry?"

"Ummm, Commissioner, your zipper is down."

"Shut up Liam I'm thinking."

"Get out Liam, let me play with my nose hair for a little longer, it helps me think."

Anonymous said...

Is it official or unofficial policy to have artificial grass in parks?

Park Lover said...

Anonymous said...
Is it official or unofficial policy to have artificial grass in parks?

It's probably one of those "unwritten" policies. But, it's an official unwritten policy.

And, it's none of your business, anyway! Just shut up and pay your taxes until we get around to exercising eminent domain on your property. Your home is a blight, and in our unwritten policy it says clearly (I'd show you but you probably are not authorized to handle unwritten policies) that we can do whatever we damn well please.

If it makes you mad, we'll do it more. Go away, Little Person.

Commissioner I Gotta Pee Benepe said...

IF YOU HAVE FAKE GRASS IN YOUR PARK THEN YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE REAL GRASS UNLESS THE GRASS HAS A FENCE AROUND IT FROM 9PM TO 9AM. THAT'S THE UNOFFICIAL POLICY. STARTING MAY 10TH YOU MUST SHOW PAPERS THAT YOU UNDERSTOOD THE HAZARDS OF WALKING ON SYNTHETIC GRASS AND THAT YOU ARE NOT A DOG.