Time Out New York, in their infinite stupidity, printed a column in this week's issue entitled, "Fib Notes: A handy guide to getting yourself out of - or into - almost any situation through the power of prevarication." Yes, that's right: a guide on how to lie. This was not in their comedy section, it was their cover story. So here's what they wrote about us out here in the boondocks:
The situation: You don't want to admit you live in Kew Gardens.
Standard lie: "I live on the East Side. The Very Far East Side."
Deluxe lie: "I live in KewGar. Did you see that big story about it? It's the next big nabe."
Crappy says, "Hey TONY, Kiss my cold metal ass!"
(And that's before he gets off the bowl!)
The Crapper has never been ashamed to say "I live in Queens." Anyone who is must not hail from around these parts and/or has self-esteem problems. Although a big thank you goes out to the editorial staff at TONY for keeping the yuppie population out of my neighborhood.