Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Chuck fails to bite schmuck

From SI Live:

Lured out of his house, Charles G. Hogg, better known as Staten Island Chuck, did not see his shadow and declared that winter will be over in two weeks.

"No shadow," said Mayor Michael Bloomberg. "Spring is coming."

Pennsylvania's Punxsutawney Phil, meanwhile -- called for six more weeks of winter.

With all eyes on the pair with a rich history, Chuck did not bite Hizzoner today, instead acting as a sophisticated rodent.

"I think I have to be magnanimous and say that he put up a good fight," Bloomberg quipped after it took a few minutes to coax -- more like drag -- Chuck out of his winter home.

"I think it's clear who the champion really was. Last year, I was willing to put that finger, right here, in the way to protect the people of this great borough. The only thing that stood between Chuck and you getting bitten was my finger and I have a scar to prove exactly how much I love one of the five best boroughs we have."

The mayor donned heavy work animal-handling gloves this year after last year's leather proved no match for the groundhog.


I think it's clear who the coward really was.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hizzoner is trying to evict another tenant, luring him out with a lousy banana.

Don't move, stay where you are.

Queens Crapper said...

Actually, it's corn.

Anonymous said...

Bloomberg looks like one of those turtles that loves lettuce and carrots.

He could have just used eminent domain to get that ground hog out.

Anonymous said...

long gloves? what a Queen. Bloomberg, come out of the closet.

Anonymous said...

year after year that dammned ground hog lets me down by not attacking the mayor. someone should sneak some rabies and steroids into the ground hog's food just before the mayor does his thing.

Anonymous said...

Dems sweep if Queens Phil sees his shadow

georgetheatheist said...

Bloomberg certainly looks like he's pissed off.

Joe said...

I think Chuck the groundhog was drugged against his will. Just look at him

Anonymous said...

Too bad Chuck didn't try and bite Bum-turd's dick off...if he could find it without putting on his reading glasses!

linda said...

lol what a loser, bloomturd that is! does he really need the gloves, lmfao.

Gary the Agnostic said...

Chuck probably remembered what Bloomberg tasted like last year, and didn't want a second bite.

Chuck said...

Ptooey!!!

Gary the Agnostic said...

Chuck said...
Ptooey!!!

Wednesday, February 03, 2010
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Exactly.

Anonymous said...

I give Chuck for negotiating a deal where he won't bite the mayor in order to keep his nuts attached, I would have made the same deal too.