Friday, January 25, 2008

Barbara's latest words of wisdom

Gimmicks to get buyers and brokers talking

If you've already dropped the price of your house and buyers still aren't biting, it's time to bring in the gimmicks. Here are tricks of the trade to lure more buyers to your house.

1. Roll in a latte cart with a sexy barista to serve espressos curbside at your open house.

2. Order a large car magnet with a picture of your home and phone number. Riding around town with your moving billboard should generate some action.

3. Rent a local billboard in your neighborhood. Billboards are cheaper than you think, and in some small neighborhoods, they're as cheap as $300.

4. Dress your kids and their friends in “Buy My House” T-shirts and send them around town. Scan a picture of your house in all its glory.

5. Rent a 10-foot-high inflatable house for your backyard. Children can jump and play as their parents look around. Order them from www.bubblegumparty.com

16 comments:

Anonymous said...

What an idiot!

georgetheatheist said...

Sonny Bloch (Remember him? The crooked real-estate talk-show 'guru"?) advised sellers to boil water with drops of vanilla so that the sweet scent would waft through la casa when the buyers showed up.

[Whatever happened to Sonny?]

faster340 said...

WTF is wrong with this woman? OMG she is a scammer to no end. No wonder why people hate real estate agents so much.

4. Dress your kids and their friends in “Buy My House” T-shirts and send them around town. Scan a picture of your house in all its glory.

This is as bad as the panhandlers who use their cute kids to get money.

What a B@#$% she is. I would hate to be her child!

ken said...

if she were writing a humor column, that wasn't intended to be taken seriously, this would be pretty good material.

Anonymous said...

How about make you house into Queens Crap, the tasteless the better, makes lots of donations to politicians, have the Queens Chamber give it an award, and if you really really try, it might make the crappie hall of fame and get posted here.

Then EVERYONE will see it!

dave in milwaukee said...

Even if she wrote this tongue-in- cheek (it's hard to tell), it's not funny. Just lame and obnoxious. What a horse's ass.

Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! I love it.

Anonymous said...

I'm not a violent guy, so why do I have this near uncontrollable urge to punch this woman square in the face?

Anonymous said...

Can you imagine if one of the children gets hurt jumping around in one of those inflatable houses?
Do I hear "lawsuit?"
That's right.
Forget about making a profit on your house then. The money will go right to the lawyers.

Gary A. said...

Number 1 sounds good. I bet I can get Schenkler to make an offer on my digs.

Anonymous said...

LSD has obviously made a comeback!

Hey "Babs"......
we're in the middle of a RECESSION !

Maybe your client's overpriced piece of crap
ain't worth the price they're asking for it.

Maybe they'd better take what they can get NOW....
before things get even worse!

Latte carts....indeed!

Sounds like she ain't making her expected share
of real estate commissions lately
and has taken to hitting the local bars !

H-m-m-m.....
yesterday a real estate queen.....
tomorrow a waitress.....eh Ms. Corker?

Anonymous said...

Laugh all you want, but she made several million dollars selling real estate.

Anonymous said...

Laugh all you want, but she made several million dollars selling real estate.

Ok then she's an asshole with lots of money. I still wouldn't want to be her kid!

Anonymous said...

Spoken like the property pimp that she is!

She won't be making much more
in this nose diving real estate market.

Anonymous said...

Maybe she and Martha Stewart can team up
to make your house look more presentable for showing.

That'd be some pair of double dopes for you!

Googuls said...

She is the same person a few months ago on the today show who mentioned an up and coming community in the area, reading pennsylvania. she mentioned its lower real estate prices, charming downtown and its location is great with any easy commute to philadelphia or new york. no joke.