Friday, May 11, 2007

Twin tweeders

Somewhere in western Queens, via phone:

Eric: Hey, Mike, I was thinking of wearing a red tie today.

Mike: No, Eric, it's Spring, I think we should go with green.

Eric: You're right, Mike. White shirt and gray suit?

Mike: You got it. See you at noon.

Later on, at the press conference:

Eric: We're blaming Con Ed for rate hikes, but there is increased consumption. I don't know...

Mike: Oh, relax, Eric, it's not like we have to admit that the cause of the blackout and subsequent rate hike were overdevelopment and illegal conversions. The press will never ask those questions and we will never be blamed for allowing them to happen.

Eric: You're right. That reminds me, I have to send in my payments to the weeklies for the Memorial Day ads.

Mike: I need to do that too. Thank God the taxpayers pay for that. The rates are going up. Just like Con Ed.

Eric: Here come the reporters.

Mike: It's showtime!

During the press conference:

Mike: Con Ed sucks!

Eric: Con Ed blows!

Mike & Eric: We hate Con Ed!

After the press conference:

Eric: Damn, I hope that guy in the tweed jacket didn't block the photographer's shot of my face.

Mike: Don't ever let them hear you say the word "tweed," Eric!

Eric: Crap!

Mike: Don't say that word, either, or you'll end up on that blog.

Eric: I hate that blog.

Mike: Me too.

Eric: But I must say, their stuff on Pinky is hilarious. How did they know that Council security was using that as his code name?

Mike: Don't know, but I put that Napoleon picture on my wall.

Eric: Yeah, that one was pretty awesome.

Mike: So how are you managing to eat on only $28?

Eric: Heh, well I am only spending $28 of my personal funds but my "meat and potatoes" are being paid for by Team Gioia.

Mike: Very clever!

Eric: I learned a little something working for the Clintons.

Photo from Queens Gazette

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

A "Con" (Edison) job all around.....from the "juice provider" to the 2 up-each-others'-butts politicos!

Eric.....you try to eat on....was it.....$28. a week.....but stop trying to "Tweed" us with your Baloney!

Anonymous said...

Eric's hair dresser, Mr. Phyllis isn't doing such a good job lately!

Anonymous said...

Lets see, CB1 (the community board from hell) growth 15 % (offical) in the 90s, another 15 % (offical) in the 00s, and projected another 15% (offical) in the 10s.

Why the hell does Con Ed want an increase?

Anonymous said...

Come on, this is the clubhouse, boys! They made a career out of making promises to people that arn't too educated or probe too deeply.

You wanna? You wanna? You wanna?

No problem! Heres tha money!

Don't ask where it came from. Some boys popped open a boxcar in the yards last night.

Anonymous said...

That is funny.

I bet they think the public hopes the money from all their promises came from the tooth fairy.

Con Ed doesn't need a rate increase.

Make them work harder! Better yet, make them hire illegals below union rates! They can do it. I want my power grid to resemble 3rd world wiring.

Anonymous said...

How about this idea? If the Democratic clubhouse can insult the working men and women of western Queens that work for Con Ed, and perhaps, just perhaps, turn a blind eye when the unions are hollowed out by illegal immigration, perhaps they can turn their attention to taking advantage of the disadvanated.

Let me explain.

Con Ed doesn't need a rate increease because they can take the money out of the shareholders.

You see, as a public utility, its used in a lot of estates for widows and orphans. They don't need all those dividends if rate increases makes developers and landlords of illegal conversions look bad.

We should all equally share in the burden of this development.

Observer said...

How in the hell did you get wires on these two without them catching on?

Oh, you told them you were just lining their pockets, and they said "go ahead".

Anonymous said...

"A Councilcrap Classic!"

Anonymous said...

I really hate when people are taken advantage of and lied to.

Its one thing for the politicians to do this, doing something like that is part of the myth and lore of that lifestyle.

The real crime is the newspapers. There is no excuse to mislead the public, or at least, not give other views on this crisis.

That is one of the reasons that our democracy is in trouble.

georgetheatheist said...

Watch your back, Giannaris. The Doorman's beady eyes tell us he wants to put his fangs in your neck!

Anonymous said...

Just read the article.

They are against the Con Ed executive pay!

City Hall got a 25% pay increase last year! Does anyone think CITY SERVICES got better by 25% last year?

And the developers and landlords, how much money are they making? Who is complaining about the tenant gouging rent$ they charge, and the development infrastructure taxe$ we have to pay for their life style$?

Ever see a poor 'playa'?

Hey Mike, Peter, Eric? You out there? What do you say about this?

Anonymous said...

eric goia was priceless this morning on good day ny channel 5. he complained that he was gaining weight as a result of his $28/week diet b/c he was eating protein fortified pasta & processed cheese. hey eric, have you ever heard of a carton of eggs? peanut butter? tuna fish? chicken cutlets and various cuts of meat can be found on sale for $1.99/pound. maybe you can't buy chilean sea bass but you can get catfish filets for $3.99/pound. his moronic publicity stunt would have been better if he actually took the time to shop thoughtfully. since when is food stamps supposed to be enough to buy gourmet food and organic veggies?