Thursday, April 9, 2009

The House that Crap Built

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It gives me great pleasure to report that four crap towers designed by yours truly were included in the new Yankee Stadium. I figured that we'd all had enough of this nostalgic, "homage to the past" stuff. What we really needed was out-of-context glass junk to disgrace this retro ballpark. Like they say, "If you build crap, they will come."

I contributed other design ideas as well, like throwing monument park in a garage under the sports bar and leaving the upper deck concourse open so garbage blows all over the field on windy days. A nice touch are the flimsy cup holders that need to be replaced frequently because people are using them as footrests. It was also my idea to situate the stadium in such a way that it offers a commanding view of two of my other Bronx projects.

Finally, replacing the stolen parkland with nice astro-turf sports fields atop the parking garages was my doing, too. After all, nothing goes together better than toxic fumes and toxic turf. Just ask my inspiration, Mayor Mike.


-Joe said...

Crap alright!
Ace Frehley a long time Yankees fan and native Bronxmen played opening day in front the Hard Rock.
Ace was pretty stoked and proud to be the first to play.
All the amplifiers get carried in to find out the place is only set up FOR LIP SYNCING !!!!

...And It Get's worse !!

There is a fake stage and the logos on the unplugged Amplifiers must be covered with black tape. The acoustics are horrible !!

I Gotta tell ya:
Up close and inside this is dumbest looking structure structure I ever seen.
They play the track As Ace mimed his song "Back In The New York Groove" (its already almost impossible for him not to crack up)..

As soon as he got to the Chorus everbody started lookin up and around cracking up.
Then Ace started cracking up.

Video should be around soon.


Anonymous said...

Dear Frank Lloyd Crap. How do you spare the time, what with your busy days re-designing Queensboro Plaza, exciting new plans for the Iron Triangle near Shea, your work in Downtown Brooklyn!

I think it's time you take a well-deserved vacation.

Adoring Fan

Anonymous said...

that women who jumped to her death was my aunt i don't appreciate some of the comments posted about her on here she was a very nice caring person she just been through a lot and suffer from depression i'm so sorry about the young guy my heart goes out to him i hope hes ok!