Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Decoding RealtorSpeak

Following Lost City's lead, Angry NYer came up with his own list:

Since one good turn deserves another, here’s a quick list of Realtor-to-English translation for anyone who is just hunting for a space to rent.

Statement: "The landlord lives off site"
Translation: "You’re not getting heat or hot water when the boiler breaks."

More here: Developer Translator + Realtor Translator

(There's also some weird sex thing going on in his sidebar ad today...)


Anonymous said...

ha ha good ones

Anonymous said...

Developer: The smart move would be trying to work with the developers to get to a compromise position.

Translation: we will let you make suggestions on the shrubbery.

Developer: You are never going to get a low rise development with rolling meadows, but you may get a decent community park, a library, a school, a percentage of affordable housing, etc. etc.

Translation: your corrupt community board withheld services from you for decades, you jerk. They will now put in sidewalks and improve trash pickup they should have given you, but only if you agree to let in development that will force you to move. They will not tell you that you will not enjoy it (you will be displaced) but the benefits you ok (and pay for with your taxes) will go to the new tenants.

Anonymous said...

Developer: Land holders should be entitled to free use of their property within the law. This includes selling it to whoever they want. Unless I fell asleep and woke up in China, this is their constitutional right.

Translation: the rights of the taxpayer and voter and citizen are not important and government does not exist for them. If the law permits a waste transfer station, and it has a bad impact on the surrounding community, BUT I MAKE MONEY, tuff luck suckers!