Tuesday, November 3, 2009

One final endorsement ...

The group Self Certifying Urban Developers (SCUD), a civic activism group founded by renowned architect Frank Lloyd Crap, today announced its endorsement of Mayor Mike Bloomberg for re-election. Mr. Crap joined the mayor outside city hall this morning to make the election day announcement. Below is a transcript of Mr. Crap's speech, with some minor typos corrected:

"I am proud today to announce SCUD's endorsement of Mayor Michael R Bloomberg for re-election. Under Mayor Mike's leadership, we've developed the hell out of New York, and we need to keep that going. Anyone can build anything with Mayor Mike in office, with the Taxpayers often footing the bill. Under his Buildings Department, developers can build efficiently by approving their own designs, hiring the cheapest labor possible, and having some reasonable flexibility regarding the onerous safety regulations on the books.

Only Mayor Mike can save our economy. Development provides both jobs and housing to shitloads of illegals many middle class New Yorkers, and we know that no one appreciates the needs and struggles of the middle class more than a billionaire like Mike Bloomberg. SCUD feels that 56 independent newspapers cashing Bloomberg's ad checks can't be wrong with their endorsements, so we encourage everyone to vote early and vote often for Mayor Mike Bloomberg."

"Development is the key to getting out of this recession," the mayor said. "With people like Frank Lloyd Crap in our city, we know we'll soon be on the road to recovery. He suggested developing affordable housing atop 'soft sites' like cemeteries, and bold ideas is what this administration is all about."

The rumor throughout the chambers of City Hall is that Bloomberg may replace Buildings Commissioner Robert LiMandri with Mr. Crap during his anticipated third term because LiMandri has been known to actually issue stop work orders from time to time.

13 comments:

You Know Who said...

You are wicked Crappy!

Absolutely wicked!!!!!

True Blue said...

Mr. Crap-

I voted 9 times! Can I still get that flat screen TV that you promised to me?

Anonymous said...

You made my mind up. I'm going out to vote for Mr. Bloomberg. Thanks.

Adolf Bloomhitler said...

"You made my mind up. I'm going out to vote for Mr. Bloomberg. Thanks."

Danke schön! If Frank givez me head, one could zay I've gone global! Zen nobody will know if I am coming or going!

Anonymous said...

"Anon #1"....you have no mind!

Anonymous said...

Like a SCUD missile launched right up Der Bloom-fuhrer's ass!

I luv it!

Anonymous said...

I'm glad bloomberg won. I predict a landslide victory really proving how out of touch and fringe player Queens Crap is.

Anonymous said...

Why would you be glad if Bloomberg won? What has he done for you? And if this is a fringe website, why come here?

Anonymous said...

i have 12 minutes to vote. I know from this website exactly how crappy Bloomberg is. Aside from NOT voting for Bloomberg, can anyone give me a good reason to believe Thompson will undo all the evil that Bloomberg will do?

This election isn't the greatest demonstration of democracy and it's for more reasons than Bloomberg forcing term limit eliminations down our collective throat.

Anonymous said...

Bloomie has 63% of the vote so far!!!

Anonymous said...

Sigh...looks like we won another four years of higher taxes, inflated property values, and over development. This place is starting to look like Chicago with the same guy running the show for decades.

Anonymous said...

Well, so far in my election district, Bloomberg is moderately behind. Let's see how he does elsewhere. By the way, don't even joke about the housing built over cemetaries because that is exactly what happened in St. George's parish in Astoria.

They built a barracks right in the middle of century old graves. They insist no one was disinterred, but I can't see how that is possible.

Anonymous said...

Bloomie has 63% of the vote so far!!!

And lost 59% since you made that asswipe remark!