Thursday, August 16, 2007

Urine Borough

On the latest episode of “Survivorman” Les Stroud gets stranded in the Kalahari Desert. Running out of drinking water on the fourth day he collects condensed droplets of water on a plastic sheet by suspending it above the 140 degree sand where he’d pissed.

An extreme measure to be sure, but what choice has he, especially with his stomach being unsettled from munching on scorpions, which are scurrying about everywhere. So are venomous Cape cobra snakes and puff-adders, making for an utterly hostile environment.

Queens is becoming hostile to life too, with all of the crappy buildings that have been sprouting up, lately, at the hands of greedy developers and fork-tongued politicians set on turning our beautiful borough into a concrete shantytown, where temperatures of feed up residents are soaring too.

Sincerely Yours,
Ken Klinger


Anonymous said...

The oldtimers in the picture had the right idea or response.

Anonymous said...

A concrete shanty town ... but with great ethic shopping and restaurants, too!

Anonymous said...

Hey just like Flushing!

Maybe with the new Port-o-San toilets
that John Liu (appropriately named) is pushing........
people might finally stop pissing in the streets!

A suggestion for you C.M. Liu......
a picture of an unpopular politician (maybe your's) should be placed permanently
on the bottom of each commode as a fitting target upon which to direct one's urine stream.

That'll encourage use of your outdoor poop booths.

And over each door inscribe the phrase,
"Piss on your favorite politico"
(just like a Coney Island arcade game) !

Anonymous said...

Some self important politicians have such swelled heads that their portraits wouldn't fit in the bowl. A neat idea though.

Anonymous said...

Les Stroud ("Survivorman") is awesome. In the same episode that he made the "urine still" and drank his own distilled wastewater he also made a scorpion kebab dinner, roasted an ostrich egg in a fire and ate it, and started a fire by polishing the bottom of an old aluminum can with a piece of chocolate and leaving it in the sun where it reflected light on a pile of dry timber he collected. Survivorman is the best show on TV.

Anonymous said...

Maybe those old-timers in the picture
were casting their votes in an upcoming election!

Anonymous said...

Survivorman is cool. Glad they finally put it back on the air again.