Bloomberg sends death squad after Hall of Famer

From You're a Disgrace, Mayor Bloomberg:

Hall of Fame pitcher Rich “Goose” Gossage got more than he bargained for when he showed up at Yankee Stadium for Old Timer’s Day. Gossage, a hero from the 1970’s Yankee teams, barely escaped being the city’s latest casualty in Mayor Bloomberg’s plan to kill geese at LaGuardia and Kennedy airports. Bloomberg, upon hearing that “Goose” was in the stadium, summoned the city’s elite Geese Eradication Team (GET), and that was when chaos ensued.

Reggie Jackson remarked that he didn’t think this was the first time Gossage had been chased by uniformed men with nets and tranquilizer guns.

Though apologetic, Mayor Bloomberg chose to highlight the positives from an embarrassing incident. “We almost cooked the wrong goose today, but our team was fully operational and at the stadium within seven minutes of receiving my command.”