69-36 Caldwell Avenue in Maspeth: What do you do when you buy a house with no garage? First, make an illegal curb cut and park your car on the sidewalk, blocking pedestrian traffic. If you get caught doing that, take a chunk off your house so you can have that curb cut legalized and park in what was once part of your living room.
Once you do that, your neighbors in the attached house next door will decide it's time to put their house up for sale. After the new owner takes possession, he'll decide to gut it without permits.