The New York Times has published a story about local Queens newspapers which Crappy thought you may get a kick out of:
Where All of the News Is Local, Outsiders Tug at Queens Papers
They revealed just what it is that the editors of our local papers are really hoping for:
...the publisher and editor of The Times Newsweekly in Ridgewood, Queens, had given up hoping for a double homicide and was willing to accept something more run-of-the-mill, like a pharmacy heist...
“A grip and grin. Would we rather have body and bomb?” he asked. It was a rhetorical question. “You bet we would.”