ChristmAstoria?

From the Newtown Pentacle:

ChristmAstoria 2009…

The annual occurrence of Christmas adorns the tired streets of ice struck Astoria with electrical garlands of questionable taste, speakers blare seasonally appropriate melodies from their lamp post perches, and vast hordes of shoppers seek to acquire, transport, and then dispense a bounty of trade goods. Such peculiar behavior garners no small amount of comment from the large middle eastern and southeast Asian communities within the ancient village, who are not willing to miss out on what seems to be a lot of fun, and they eventually join in and play along with the odd custom.

To appreciate ChrismAstoria, however, one must visit its fertile climes at night.

Ever conscious of social status and standing, given to vulgar displays of tasteless consumption and wild imaginings on the subject of real estate development, the population of Astoria does not disappoint when competing with neighbors for the attentions of holiday tourists. Even the police cameras and red light robotics clustered around the corner of Broadway and Steinway Street look positively resplendent when illuminated by such redolent regalia.

And if you liked part 1, you'll love part 2 and part 3.