It seems like most new houses don't have fireplaces. But the Children of Queens need not worry- Santa has a number of ways to gets into QueensCrap houses:
1. Easily removes the rusted metalic door.
2. Sneaks in a few days early and hides in the illegal basement apartment until Christmas
3. Removes the Fedders and squeezes through the opening.
4. Bribes local elected official to gain access to the property.
5. Poses as Department of Buildings Inspector. Oh, wait, they don't come to Queens. Nevermind.. skip that one.
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Why your neighborhood is full of Queens Crap
"The difference between dishonest and honest graft: for dishonest graft one worked solely for one's own interests, while for honest graft one pursued the interests of one's party, one's state, and one's personal interests all together." - George Washington Plunkitt
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2 comments:
It seems like most new houses don't have fireplaces. But the Children of Queens need not worry- Santa has a number of ways to gets into QueensCrap houses:
1. Easily removes the rusted metalic door.
2. Sneaks in a few days early and hides in the illegal basement apartment until Christmas
3. Removes the Fedders and squeezes through the opening.
4. Bribes local elected official to gain access to the property.
5. Poses as Department of Buildings Inspector. Oh, wait, they don't come to Queens. Nevermind.. skip that one.
Anyone else got ideas for Santa?
Merry Christmas!!
How about walking right in through the front door?
Most illegal conversions are little more than dorms for transients, and as the landlord doesn't live on the property, who knows who lives there?
Of course, you can call the police when you see a stranger breaking in, but, well, we all know about response time for the finest in Queens, don't we?
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