Happy Easter from Queens Crap!

Wilson: Who's Warren Wilhelm?
Miss Kelly: A pink rabbit, six feet tall.
Wilson: Six feet?
Elwood P. Dowd: Six feet five inches. Now let's stick to the facts.

Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny.
Mother: He does not!
Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!

Big Bad Bill certainly laid 2 eggs this year that looked pretty on their surfaces but turned out to be rotten inside - just in time for Easter. And we didn't even have to hunt for them.

Coming soon to stink up a neighborhood near you!

Port Authority kills anything that moves

From the NY Post:

Birds aren’t the only hazard to planes at JFK. The airport is teeming with bunnies which can hop out onto runways in front of a plane or simply draw birds of prey.

Ninety-nine wascally wabbits and hares were shotgunned at JFK last year by Elmer Fudd firing squads comprised of Port Authority and USDA workers.

“It’s open season at the airport to shoot rabbits,” said Steven Garber, a biologist and consultant for wildlife management at airports.

A new federal wildlife assessment of the airport recommends “regularly” killing Eastern cottontails and black-tailed jackrabbits “to decrease the prey base on the airfield.”

Rabbits have been cited in three minor US plane crashes in the last 30 years, National Transportation Safety Board records show.

Wildlife is a constant nuisance at the 4,930-acre Kennedy, which borders Jamaica Bay across from Gateway national park.

That's not a rabbit!

From the Daily News:

Roger Levans of Queens got off a Delta Airlines flight from Georgetown, Guyana, on Dec. 29, and wrote on a Customs declaration that he was carrying food items, according to a criminal complaint filed in Brooklyn Federal Court.

"Levans was asked what kind of food items he was carrying, to which he responded 'cooked rabbit,'" Homeland Security special agent Noah Abbott said in the complaint.

Levans' three suitcases were passed through an X-ray machine and the inspectors were suspicious about what they saw.

The first two bags contained an assortment of fruits and vegetables - and no rabbit, according to the complaint.

The inspectors noted that Levans appeared "nervous and anxious" when they peeked inside the third suitcase.

Again, no rabbit - but there were three brick-shaped packages wrapped in brown masking tape. A Customs and Border Protection agent poked them, revealing three kilos of cocaine.

Levans, who was released on $100,000 bail, stated in an affidavit that he works for Guardsmark Security as a guard at Yankee Stadium.

It's time to don my bunny ears!

Why I bring carrots with me to the cemetery...

Easter in Manhattan, 1900

"Easter Sunday on Fifth Avenue in 1900"

Photo from Ephemeral New York

And what happened to the Central Park bunnies?

JFK is home to out-of-town jackrabbits

From Citybirder:

I did a little jackrabbit research to try and determine which species may be surviving at [JFK] airport. Without a rear view photo of the species in question I could only narrow it down to a White-tailed or Black-tailed Jackrabbit. Based strictly on the open, grassland habitat, I'm guessing that it is more likely a Black-tailed Jackrabbit. White-taileds are generally found in mountainous regions. It is also interesting to learn that jackrabbits (or "hares") are not related to our Eastern Cottontails.

Yep, those are Black-tailed Jackrabbits, a southwestern species that has been present at JFK since the 1950s. And 39 of them were involved in runway incidents from 2000-2008.

(Please don't tell Bloomberg.)