Monday, July 20, 2015

This is what AirBnB allows "regular New Yorkers" to do!

Dear Crappy,

Every so often I peruse the Airbnb listings hereabouts (Greenpoint) so as to get an idea of how much property (and money) is at stake. Among the usual stuff/suspects I found a real stand-out. This:


As you can imagine I found this quite interesting. I clicked--- and this is what I found:



Hence why I am emailing you. It would appear this "tenement on wheels" (sort of like this and this) gets around. I am guessing this is why this "vacation rental" purports to be less than 10 minutes from 50 major attractions. You can drive your "hotel room" right up to them.




Any/all takers should advised that one of the amenities offered is brand new carpet! READ: a $19.99 rug from IKEA. So keep your filthy-ass shoes outside, okay?

Please take the time to peruse the reviews. They're not simply illuminating; they're quite entertaining! Here are two of my personal favorites!



Inasmuch as I can guess the latter satisfied customers--- provided they were in Greenpoint--- had to be near either the American Playground or Barge Park (AKA "Greenpoint") Playground. These are the only parks hereabouts which sport bathrooms. What a wonderful use of our precious little public space! I hope against hope that William and his girlfriend did not flush those baby wipes down the toilet. But let's face facts. They probably did.

Of course there are also waterfront parks with East River views in Queens which sport bathrooms. You would know these better than I. In any case, I wanted to bring this "tip" to your attention. It would appear "Jonathan" has other listings. I'll leave those for you to parse and/or enjoy!

Sincerely,

New York Shitty

Link to listing: https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/6492663?s=h4yk

14 comments:

Roger said...

I would not have wanted to sleep in that van last night. A fan would not cut it in this heat. And this is from someone who lived in a van for a year.

Anonymous said...

Gotta give him credit. This is an aspiring hotelier.
Today a van. Tomorrow the Waldorf.
Am I hallucinating? Rent a gypsy caravan to sleep in?
What if an eighteen wheeler semi sideswipes you in the middle of a good dream?
What a groovy experience.

Jackson Heights Johnny said...

Excuse me for being ignorant of real estate law, but it is actually LEGAL for anyone to rent any type of accommodation WITHOUT a bathroom?

I have only 1 bathroom in my house, and my wife and I fight over it all the time.

2-3 people or more (4-5) without a bathroom?

JEEZ!

Anonymous said...

Washing up in a park bathroom like bums do. Living in a van like bums do. And paying $100/night for the privilege. Wow. Just wow.

Laura Hofmann said...

My husband & I have been trying to find out why there's a van and a Winnebago parked along Newtown Barge Playground & Greenpoint Playground so long. We thought it had to do with Greenpoint Landing construction! This can't be legal. Even if it is, I'm going to raise holy hell. I believe it's illegal to site a hotel near a playground because of the transient nature. AirBnb is in effect, a hotel. Dangerous to have around kids. Unbelievable.

JQ said...

Holy shitty wet wipes batman!

Well if the city needed any more confirmation on the accusations of Airbnb's willful lack of vetting and oversight of their hosts and banning it from the city, here it is.

But as with NYCHA's abilities, make that willful inabilites to care for their tenants, Mayor big slow and his staffers refuse to do a thing despite their carpings about the need for affordable housing which this irresponsible app based business will make such goals impossible. The wants and needs of tourist idiots to pseudo-slum it out in Brooklyn Goddamn (Copyright,me) supercedes the urgent homeless crisis that continues to be ignored.

Johnathan needs a good kick in the one and two, but this is what passes for entrepreneurship in this age of mediocrity and in Fun City USA (Copyright,also me and John Lindsay) I think this douche will be hired by the city eventually to upscale all these hotel-cum-shelters for samaritan village for future mouth breather back packers. Or since our boroughs are turning into some theme park why not turn some of these buses into hostels. I'm thinking of those charter buses, tourist double deckers and that awful bus with the giant window bus with the theater style seating (http://experiencetheride.com/). The possibilities are stupidly infinite.

This has to come to a crushing stop somehow, but without something horrific occurring.

I would suggest bombing this van with graffiti and eggs but I think that will only had to the hip esthetics and Johnathan will consider charging more because it will be like dwelling in street art itself.

Awesome article shitty! Randy Quaid's quote may be the most apt to describe the decrepit condition this town is in.





Gary W. said...

A van down by the river....

Anonymous said...

I know exactly where this van is. See it every day.

JQ said...

beat me to it gary w., I was thinking certain dopes want that Chris Farley character exeperience. Maybe Johnathan can provide a table for them to fall on.

No picture of Johnathan in the airbnb post. Why not Johnathan? Cunt

JQ said...

DNA.info pilfered NYShitty and at 10:35 PM, Pix news just did a segment on it.

Such intrepid reporting from our local news media.

Anonymous said...

Sounds very picturesque, but the things you might hear that go bump in the night are not ghosts but a moving motor vehicle hitting your sleep van. Pleasant dreams.
It could also be a tow truck hauling you away. There are laws prohibiting this. Why aren't they being enforced?
I'm going to advertise my fire escape as a summer sleeping balcony with a view. I'll go to Ikea and get myself a nice floral print comforter to spread on the Pigeon crap spotted iron floor.
Coffee will be served in my kitchen. Just climb back in through the window. Continental breakfast, which includes a roll with your coffee, is $5 dollars extra. Air B&B, here I come.

Anonymous said...

Living or just staying in New York has become expensively out of sight.
People are selling whatever services they can. College students sell their bodies for sex to help pay expenses.
This is American entrepeneuring at its most creative.
During the great Alaskan gold rush it was not uncommon for a miner visiting a cafe for breakfast to pay $5 for just one egg.

Anonymous said...

One of the vans was towed away this morning.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous "Living or just staying in New York has become expensively out of sight.
People are selling whatever services they can. College students sell their bodies for sex to help pay expenses. This is American entrepeneuring (sic) at its most creative.
During the great Alaskan gold rush it was not uncommon for a miner visiting a cafe for breakfast to pay $5 for just one egg."

Nice to see you trolling blog comments, Daniel Himmelfarb.

http://www.dnainfo.com/new-york/20121015/soho/after-brush-with-basquiat-soho-store-owner-tries-sell-artists-work

Then again I do recall reading something along the lines--- FROM YOU--- stating that the winners of the gold rush were the ones selling shovels. You.

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