I’m looking for the boxes. I need the documents so I can doodle on them. Don’t tel the feds I have boxes everywhere. In here, in my bathroom, in my basement, in my golf cart. Maybe I can sell them to my good buddies, Kim, MBS, Winnie the Pooh and Putin?
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." - Some hippy from the Middle East.
Come on in, the price is right. Special discount for the Illuminati, buy two Twinkies, get one free. Limited stock of M&M's, Tucker Putin edition. Get'em while they last. QAnon Dum Dums, 10 for a dollar. Freedom Fries, well, free. Animal Crackers, special Trumpanzee edition, $2. Limit one per person. Unfortunately, the Jewish space lasers are out of stock. Candied Hunter Biden laptops, $10 each, including a special signed copy of Marjorie Taylor Greene's new book inside the packet. Salted right wing nuts, 50c each. Random Quotations, that have absolutely nothing to do with anything, free. Transgender gingerbread men or whatever, $10 each. Ice-cold, extra woke Bud Light, Mrs. Doubtfire edition, $2 each, or 6 for $20. Shock your friends, scare your teacher, get your orders in for the TrumpTurd joke pack before Halloween. Seasonal pricing. If you're looking for those "Bags of evidence that Trump won". Well, you can keep on looking, they can't be sourced anywhere. Sorry, no toilet tissue, but we do have the NY Post.
Next week we hope to have the much anticipated, first edition of the NPC_doofus, "All you need to know about Medicine, but are too afraid to ask" magazine. It comes with a special pullout poster of Dr. Doofus himself, posing next to a bottle of Ivermectin.
New today. Lauren "The Vape" Roberts vapes and gummies. Known for reaching across the aisle to grab some booty, these Vape pens are a must-have for all wannabe gropers.
Free replicas of the "Great Wall of Trump". These are much shorter than anticipated, and tend to fall down without notice. Buyer beware. On the positive side, you can get your Mexican neighbor to buy it for you.
Jump the line, get your work permits here. Free, compliments of corporate America and the multitudes of small businesses that only pay peanuts. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
Retired Boomer said... Reading all the #TDS trolls here is sad, very sad... 25 years ago, education was all about teaching children how to think, not what to think. The objective was education, not indoctrination....
43 comments:
Magazines for people who can read. I guess that excludes TrumpTurds.
I’m looking for the boxes. I need the documents so I can doodle on them. Don’t tel the feds I have boxes everywhere. In here, in my bathroom, in my basement, in my golf cart. Maybe I can sell them to my good buddies, Kim, MBS, Winnie the Pooh and Putin?
Is Hunters laptop in here? I need something fast so McCarthy and the gang don’t look like complete idiots…
A job he is perfectly qualified for. He is way in over his head in his current job.
I'm The Biden of BROOKLYN !
Hope you know how the 'pathetic' Sheeple voted for me and will again.
Liars like me become desperate at some point.
If Bunter Hiden doesn't go to jail then all in prison should be released and paid compensation.
My Delusion can’t be cured and is caused by choice.
"You want the dispensary. It's over there."
"I got some retro-porno magazines if you want to buy any."
You see? Not all businesses have left this cesspool of a city. Kunal's Quick Mart is STILL HERE.
I got all the Loosies you want
I got gummies and...weed.
Free fentanyl for children under three, just visit any daycare and tell them Unkle Flip Flop sent you
Politicians for sale. Democrats, $100.00 each, Republicans $1.99 each or 10 for $5.
I've got magazines for New Yorkers and Twinkies for "Real Americans".
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." - Some hippy from the Middle East.
Look, my re-election future
Don’t worry democrats! No matter how bad you get, or how useless you are, the other side are way, way worse. That’s really sad.
Senate Republicans want to force members to wear a suit! Tyranny! We demand our freedoms!
"Yep, we got a movie with Stormy Daniels right here behind the counter - 'Melons at Mar-A-Lago.' I think it's a documentary."
Can I fit 10,000 migrants in here? They can eat as much as they want till it runs out.
Come on in, the price is right. Special discount for the Illuminati, buy two Twinkies, get one free.
Limited stock of M&M's, Tucker Putin edition. Get'em while they last.
QAnon Dum Dums, 10 for a dollar.
Freedom Fries, well, free.
Animal Crackers, special Trumpanzee edition, $2. Limit one per person.
Unfortunately, the Jewish space lasers are out of stock.
Candied Hunter Biden laptops, $10 each, including a special signed copy of Marjorie Taylor Greene's new book inside the packet.
Salted right wing nuts, 50c each.
Random Quotations, that have absolutely nothing to do with anything, free.
Transgender gingerbread men or whatever, $10 each.
Ice-cold, extra woke Bud Light, Mrs. Doubtfire edition, $2 each, or 6 for $20.
Shock your friends, scare your teacher, get your orders in for the TrumpTurd joke pack before Halloween. Seasonal pricing.
If you're looking for those "Bags of evidence that Trump won". Well, you can keep on looking, they can't be sourced anywhere.
Sorry, no toilet tissue, but we do have the NY Post.
Next week we hope to have the much anticipated, first edition of the NPC_doofus, "All you need to know about Medicine, but are too afraid to ask" magazine. It comes with a special pullout poster of Dr. Doofus himself, posing next to a bottle of Ivermectin.
Have a Nice Day!
Sorry Ma'am, we don't have the "Angry Birds" Nintendo edition, but we do have the "Angry Rightwinger", Faux Outrage edition.
Try and find one of these in the "Great Swamp of Florida".
Divosity canny, da sauce of ow strenf
Do I need a H1B visa for this job?
20% of all profits go to Israel. We need to bow down to these people for some reason or other.
New today. Lauren "The Vape" Roberts vapes and gummies. Known for reaching across the aisle to grab some booty, these Vape pens are a must-have for all wannabe gropers.
Free replicas of the "Great Wall of Trump". These are much shorter than anticipated, and tend to fall down without notice. Buyer beware. On the positive side, you can get your Mexican neighbor to buy it for you.
Jump the line, get your work permits here. Free, compliments of corporate America and the multitudes of small businesses that only pay peanuts.
The rich get richer, the poor get poorer.
Look over my head. It says, “Got I.D”. Is this the deep state moving into the retail business?
@“ If Bunter Hiden doesn't go to jail ”
For what? Buying a gun? He was just exercising his freedoms!
Keep that liberal outrage for the Huff Post.
We’ve got a cure for woke derangement syndrome. It’s selling fast.
Defund the court system! Protect our God and Dear Leader from prosecution by the satanist hoards.
Now that Soupy Sales is off the air, I can take over his spot. Where's Fang when you need him?
Ya got any Milky Way's?
No, but we got crackers.
If only I had had 20 shell companies.
Hunter is that you??? Your dad won't talk to me...
Retired Boomer said...
Reading all the #TDS trolls here is sad, very sad...
25 years ago, education was all about teaching children how to think, not what to think. The objective was education, not indoctrination....
This guy sounds like he's right out of the Soviet Union.
@“ 25 years ago, education was all about teaching children how to think,”
Obviously it didn’t work on you.
Sad …
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