Flushing Meadows fiddlers

Flushing Meadows Park is being digested by the USTA which keeps erecting more stadiums alongside Arthur Ashcan Stadium, as local residents like myself have taken to calling it. We’ve got a nickname for the Billy Jean King Center , too, which makes use of the tennis star’s first two initials, though perhaps it would be better not to mention it here.

What makes these outdoor arenas even more offensive is that they’re completely encircled by fences that come right up to the walkways, making residents feel like they’re being confined to dog runs, when they visit the park, just like pooches.

Meanwhile the rich riffraff inside the arenas lounge about sipping cocktails as they watch micro-mini skirted tennis players, on steroids, smack balls about the courts, while stopping to play with their racket strings, resembling those on musical instruments, as noted.

The crisscrossed strings look like meshed wire, too, as if the ball bashers were trying to comfort themselves and their fans with the fact that the stadiums they’re squatting in are surrounded by 8-foot fences – to prevent us from getting in and taking back our park!

- Ken Klinger, Queens Crap ensign